The Way Things Weren't
by moonfaerie326
Summary: It wasn't supposed to happen like this, things weren't supposed to go this way. Drabble Tag/Spoilers to OBSESSION Part 1 Ziva's POV Part 2 Tony's POV
1. Ziva

**SPOILERS! BIG FAT TERRIBLY IN DEPTH SPOILERS FOR "OBSESSION". Just my thoughts during the episode, actually I wrote it while it was occurring. I don't know what to say about it, because really there isn't much. I have more stories I need to post (type up) and I hope to get it done soon, but Midterms are coming, and I have a lot of Final projects to work on as well. SO basically life is kicking me in the behind, and I do not appreciate it.**

**For those of you who have messages sent to me and waiting for replies in my inbox I will get to those. Perhaps I will get that done this weekend? I hope so. **

**Disclaimer: College really depletes your resources. Printer Ink, Printer Paper, Notebook paper, Pens, Pencil lead, Gas, you name it, College has made me use it. Do you think that I would be complaining about lack of funding if I created NCIS, I don't think so, I don't think so.**

**Dedicated to: My sweet sweet Jes whom I miss with all my heart. I will be replying soon, my love, I just … life hates me right now.**

**The Way Things Weren't**

She never knew how hard it would be to listen to him talk about other women (and it was _hard_). She wanted to get away, to plug her ears (she wanted to tell him to stop it, that Ms. Right was right in _front_ of him) but she didn't, she listened, and she hurt (boy, did she hurt).

She never realized how easy it would be for him to tear out her heart (If she was being honest he had it the whole time). She tried to get flirty with that man (she felt sick), she tried to make _him_ notice (he didn't) and she felt broken (she wouldn't admit it, but she did).

She never thought that hearing him call her "David" in such a monotonous voice would kill her a bit inside (she'd been _this _close to death before, she remembered the pain of it, and this brings back those memories full boar). She tried not to let it hurt her, she tried not to let it show (she tried so hard, and all for nothing), but sometimes it poked through her thickly built walls for all to see. She feared that people would be able to see it, Tony in particular, but he was too distracted to take note, she was both parts grateful as well as disappointed (because if _he_ didn't notice, no one would).

She tries to help him (she doesn't know where to start), she doesn't know what was going on with him. She has never seen him act like this, over a woman _(girl)_ no less. She was (is) jealous, and she can't stand it (that feeling was clouding _her_ judgment).

She made movie references to snap him out of it (_her_ making a _movie reference_, it was absurd), and when he didn't respond she wasn't sure what else she could do for him (she was beginning to think there was nothing else she could do).

She knew that feeling, the one that was portrayed so clearly on his face (she felt it when Roy died, and it still causes her heart to ache when she thinks about it). She wishes she could take it away, that she could heal him, but she knows he won't let her. Not now, anyway. It was too soon. But she hopes that someday he will let her in (she hopes that one day she will let _him_ in).

She wonders if she pushed him to it, if all her taunts somehow made him begin to have feelings for _her_ (she knows she is giving herself too much credit, she always does). She's torn on the inside, unsure of what to make of everything. She knows she was jealous (still is because if he can have feelings that strong about someone other than her … well, she doesn't like to think about it).

She doesn't know if things will be ever be the same, the way they were before Somalia, before _Rivkin_ (she can't even think his name without feeling betrayal. She doesn't know why she ever trusted him, she _just doesn't_).

She wasn't trying hard enough to help Tony (she _needs_ to try harder), because she was scared (_terrified_ actually), because he has the power to hurt her like no one before him could. She doesn't think he realized (no one does).

**Really pointless, but I would love your reviews nonetheless. Even if it is to tell me to get my butt in gear on my other fics, seriously, that stuff is like motivating juice for me!**

**I'm working on time-management right now. We will see how that goes!**


	2. Tony

**The Way Things Weren't**

**(for Tony)**

He had seen her on the news before (yeah, he watched the news, it wasn't _that _surprising), but he never really thought about her outside of that hour time slot that she held (he didn't have a reason too). There were more important things for him to think about after all (like which of his two probies he would be tormenting later), and where he would go to lunch the next day (hey! It's an important thing to know!).

That all changed when she had gone missing, something inside of him changed before he could put his finger on it (it was like a light switch being flicked inside of him, he couldn't stop it).

He didn't like that he had been obsessed with her (he had been, so obsessed), but she had been "the damsel in distress" and maybe his biological clock _was_ ticking (of course Ziva was right, she usually was), because he needed to help her (the need was strong, and he couldn't not do it). Nothing else mattered (other things should have come first, his job for one, Ziva for another), his need to save her was making him insane. Making him hide from the people he shouldn't need to hide from, making him doubt them (he can still remember the look Ziva had thrown him when he called her "David", it still hurt).

He can't take it back (any of it), his feelings for that women might not have been real but they still felt like it (the pain in his chest as he watched her go told him as much). He wasn't sure how things were going to be after this, he wasn't sure if he said too much to take back (he hopes that he didn't).

He hopes that he can redeem himself (he isn't sure how), he hopes that this won't hang over his head for a too long (he has things he wants to accomplish).

He hopes that Ziva can forgive him for his actions (he doesn't know if he will forgive himself). He hopes that one day he can tell Ms Right just how right he thinks she is (Ziva deserves to hear the words out loud after all).

**END**

**I was asked to get into Tony's psyche during this episode, and honestly this is how I feel it would have played out. Some of you may not agree with it, but I still hope you enjoyed it. Your thoughts would be wonderful on it. **

**I also plan to write some sort of tag for this episode, I will need to watch it again before I do that, but yeah, it might be coming.**


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